Slow Food

Slow Food: Your Guide to Fine Wines

: Urban Artifaks ~ Fruit of the Vine

good evening! Another day of sharing and caring. For today’s Slow Food* lesson, we will be learning about fine wines.

Now the cool thing about wines is that they actually come with a grade. As in, a number — just like when you were in middle school. A 96 is good! An 84 is not bad, but probably lacks focus. Anything under that should consider fast food as a career option.

So, you say… you’ve narrowed it down to the 90’s — but where to start?? The choices are still endless.

Well, never fear! The wine companies make it pretty easy for you. You see that $25 bottle? It’s good. But if you’re reading this post, you’re probably not ready for that one yet. So find the nearest $12.95 bottles and let’s compare. See the one with the gorgeous label? That one’s good. It’s subtle and sophisticated, perfect for your dinner guests. The one with the crazy name like “Two Guys and Some Grapes”? It’s loud and bold. Fine for when your party includes cheap beer and you want to class it up a bit, but unless you all plan to wear jeans, I wouldn’t bring this to a friend’s house. The one with the plain bottle and the label written in 8 pt. font? Kinda like the quiet kid in class. Good, safe, but somewhat boring.

But what about red vs. white? Well, the old rule of thumb is that red wines go with red meat, and white wines go with white meats. So red wine = beef, white wine = fish & poultry. But of course this isn’t a hard and fast rule either. No one ever paired Merlot with a Wendy’s burger and kept their status; nor can you drink Chardonnay while eating wings and not get your ashcan kicked. The bottom line is that red wines taste like cough syrup, and white wines taste like juice that’s past its expiration date. This is the main reason why wines are often paired with cheese or chocolate. Because anything tastes good when paired with cheese or chocolate.

So if you want to pick a winner, channel your inner middle schooler and pick a smart one.

Bon Appetite!

* please remember that while “slow” can mean “to take one’s time”, it can also refer to one’s seat on the Short Bus.

The Perfect Cup of Tea

gingery goodness

Today is the Perfect Day for wrapping up in a lap blanket and enjoying the Perfect Cup of Tea.? And not just any old “bag in a cup” will do — I’m here to share my Perfect Recipe.? Those of you who know to run in fear when I say “my” and “recipe” in the same sentence, never fear — this one’s actually good!? While my coffee crush is fairly new, tea & I have been going steady for years.

So here’s whatcha gotta do.

Boil a bunch of water.? Well, not quite boiling.? Just hot enough to make good tea but not hot enough to burn your tongue.? Pour into your favorite comfy mug.? Drop in 3-4 pieces of crystallized ginger, and one round bag of Tetley Green.? The sugar on the ginger will add sweetness, and the Tetley will add a lovely green flavor and keep it from being ginger-water.? (Which is yummy!? But not technically tea.)

Hold the warm mug in your hands for 2-3 minutes.? (It won’t do much for the tea, but it does make your hands nice and toasty.

Drink half of the tea.? Fish out one of the pieces of ginger and eat it.? Put your cup down and forget where you put it.? Retrace your steps.? Find it and put it in the microwave to heat it back up.? Get interrupted by Something Important.? Forget you put it in the microwave.? Go to bed mumbling something about a cup, err… I forget.? Have a dream that you made ginger tea but never drank it.? Wake up craving tea, but can’t find your favorite mug.? ANYWHERE.? Blame your daughter, the cats, your coworker… whoever looks at you crosseyed.? Give up on making tea.? And everything that requires you to boil water.? Stubbornly make soup-in-a-can for dinner.? In the microwave.

Discover a cup of half finished tea.

Slow cooking with Chris

good morning friends : }

Since this blog is read mostly by my 20 closest friends & family (basically anyone who is legally supposed to be nice to me), you probably all know that I’m not much of a cook.? Or if you don’t know, it’s because I try not to let that secret out very often.? (The hummos last week?? Trader Joe’s, my friend.)

But in honor of slow cooking month* I’d like to share my favorite recipe with you:

1. Take one egg, preferably a nice wholesome brown egg where the chicken was raised in a happy place.? Cook it.

2. Drive up to Whole Foods and buy a loaf of your favorite bread** and a small bag of coffee.? I highly recommend the Flax Quinoa, or the Prarie Boule.? Both excellent varieties.? Be sure to get them sliced, whichever you choose.? That will be important in step 3.

3. Place in toaster.? Depress button.

4. After about two minutes, check for doneness and remove from toaster.

5. Take butter*** and gently spread on toast.? Allow butter to slowly melt into flaxy prarie goodness.

6. Take freshly ground coffee and place into top of coffee maker.? Be sure to read manufacturer’s directions as to how much/ where to add water.? Do NOT omit this step.? Seriously.

7. “Plate up” your eggs and toast.? ****

8. Check coffee for doneness.? When coffee is perfectly brown, pour into your favorite mug.? Choose one that has a rounded form, and a comfortable handle.? Add cream and turbinado to taste.? Some people prefer their coffee black.? They are usually either construction workers, or businessmen trying to stay awake.? I prefer mine caucasian.? *****

Serve, and enjoy!

possible substitutions: you may substitute eggs for pancakes, just be sure to omit the toast and add 3T of real maple syrup.? You may also add bacon to taste.

* maybe it’s not this month.? But it’s a month.? I think.? Just eat your breakfast already.

** this is the “slow” in “slow cooking”.

*** be sure to use real butter for this step.? That “I Can’t Believe It’s Not” crap?? I can believe it, baby.

**** All real chefs “plate up” their food.

***** Actually if you filled a cup with cream and turbinado and then added the coffee, I’d be perfectly happy.